Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals.
It’s that time of year again. You’re permitted to huddle up on the couch — roast beast from Whoville in one hand, a moose-shaped mug of eggnog in the other — and watch a whole bunch of movies you saw at this exact time last year.
From The Santa Clause to Home Alone and The Grinch to Jingle All the Way, these movies are the ones you know back to front. You probably routinely quote them out loud, to the detriment of your relationships.
And if it’s not you annually weeping through Love Actually and The Holiday, or demanding someone listen to your pitch on Die Hard as the ultimate holiday movie, that person is definitely someone you know.
Here’s a few gift ideas for that cotton-headed ninny muggins. Now, go easy on the Pepsi.
It’s only onscreen for a hot minute, but Home Alone fans will know this blueprint well. Our hero Kevin McCallister maps out his defenses, strategically planning surprises for the Wet Bandits. And you can get a print on Etsy!
Pair it with a Little Nero’s Pizza cap and you’ll have a very merry Christmas, ya filthy animal.
If you really love Christmas, come on and let it snow with this delightful Love Actually pillow. Artist and designer Thom Kofoed illustrated one of the most iconic scenes from the film. It’s now a pillow you can give to your own true love.
Price: From $34
Clark Griswold’s beloved moose mugs from Christmas Vacation are really awkward to sip from, but damn, they’re good movie merch. Featured in such scenes as Clark losing his damn nerve, these moose mugs should be filled with ice cold eggnog and served when the shit’s about to hit the fan at your family holiday meal.
One of the less obvious holiday movies, but nonetheless, Gremlins is 10/10 yuletide fun. LA designer and illustrator Miranda Dressler created these delightful little pins featuring a Gremlin in a Santa hat. If you’re giving it to a true fan of the film, pair it with one of her Gremlin greeting cards.
What better outfit to snuggle up watching Elf in than this ugly Christmas sweater, emblazoned with one of the highly quotable movie’s best lines. You’ll find many, many variations on the Elf-themed UCS around the internet — just pick your favorite quote, add “sweater,” and punch it into Google.
Monopoly fights are as strong a holiday tradition as pudding, so why not argue over a version inspired by Tim Burton’s cult classic? This collector’s edition of the classic, polarizing board game replaces the traditional boardwalk real estate with locations like Jack’s Tower, Oogie Boogie’s Casino, and Sally’s Alley. Fine holiday fun.
The Grinch’s faithful sidekick Max was the key to the whole “stealing Christmas” operation and every Who in Whoville should know it. This adorable plush toy comes with a pair of removable reindeer antlers — the same faux-reindeer solution seen in the film. Plus, if you press his paw, his ears move up and down. Your giftee’s shriveled heart may grow three sizes after seeing it.
Arnold Schwarzenegger fought tooth and nail and Sinbad to get his son a Turbo Man doll, and all you have to do is shell out your rent money. Made exclusively for Wal-Mart by Tiger Electronics for the release of Jingle All the Way in 1996, this talking action figure is a rare find. You’ll find a few on eBay for cheaper, but plenty are out of the packaging.
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